[June 18, 2002]
By Nicholas Provenzo
subscribe to some magazine or journal that sells its subscription list, I
now receive a varying degree of fundraising letters from the Republican
National Committee. By far the most frequent letters I receive are of the
infamous "push-poll" variety. The premise of this fundraising pitch is
that the RNC wants to know what I think of various political issues so
they can allegedly formulate their policies to take my views into account.
In the letter RNC Chairman Marc Racicot writes in a breathy, stutter
mistake — without your answers to the REPUBLICAN PARTY CENSUS
DOCUMENT questions . . .
. . .our
leadership will not know how you and other Republicans at the grassroots
level of our Party feel about the critical issues facing our nation in
the next century."
And, as long as
they have my attention, please would I be so kind to write them a check so
they can poll other Republicans.
Not knowing my stand on an issue never stopped the RNC before. Why change
letters are patronizing goes without saying. So who buys their premise
then? Well, as a public service, today, I will. As a loyal Republican, I
will take the questionnaire and place my answers below. And I'll even
write out my position beyond answering "yes," "no" or "undecided."
PARTY CENSUS DOCUMENT
support President Bush's initiatives to promote the safety and security
of all Americans?
ANSWER: Yes. And I am highly irritated at President Bush's lack of
initiative by failing to identify by name that it is Islamic militants
and the nation-states that sponsor them that threaten the safety and
security of all Americans. US policy should be more nuanced than being
against "evil-doers." It's like the Saturday morning cartoons: George
Bush—he's against evil.
support the creation of an Office of Homeland Security?
ANSWER: No. The security of the US does not require the establishment of
a new cabinet-level bureaucratic arm to protect the nation from Islamic
militants. Defense Department bombs work just fine.
support increasing the amount of security at airports, train stations
and all government buildings including monuments and museums?
ANSWER: No. I support taking the battle to the enemy by destroying his
ability to project force. The battle against terrorism should be fought
in its breeding ground: the nation-states that support terrorists.
a) Do you
feel safe in your home?
ANSWER: Yes. I own a pistol. Now as for my cooking. . .
b) Do you feel safe traveling in this country?
ANSWER. No. I do not think the US is aggressively destroying the
terrorists and the states that sponsor them.
c) Is your answer the same for international travel?
ANSWER: Unless I'm heading to Iceland by boat, no. See above.
support economic sanctions against nations who do not actively support
and provide assistance to Operation Enduring Freedom (The Defense
Department's name for all military actions related to the September 11th
ANSWER: No. I support the US acting unilaterally in support of Operation
Enduring Freedom. If a critical nation in the strategic theater of
operations fails to either destroy the terrorists themselves, or fails
to allow the US freedom of movement to destroy the terrorists, I support
the use of more punitive measures than mere sanctions.
support the use of air strikes against any country that offers safe
harbor or aid to individuals or organizations committed to attacks on
ANSWER: No. I do not believe that the US force package in the war
against terrorism should be arbitrarily limited to solely air power. I
support the use of any and all force operationally necessary against any
country that offers safe harbor or aid to individuals or organizations
committed to attacks on America.
support increasing the use of covert operatives in targeted areas?
ANSWER: Yes. I also think that people shouldn't eat babies.
make our schools accountable to taxpayers and parents in order to
improve our educational system?
ANSWER: No. We should make schools accountable to parents who pay for
their children's education by abolishing the public schools. Look, Ma:
education, the real third rail of American politics. I touched it!
support President Bush's plan to make our schools more accountable to
parent's and restore local control of education?
ANSWER: Yes. I think we should have a national plan for local control.
Or is that a local plan for national control? I must still be foggy from
touching that third rail.
support reforms proposed by the Bush Administration to improve
curriculum, invest more in training teachers and create safer schools
for our children.
ANSWER: No. That's the national plan for local control question again,
isn't it? Besides, spending more money on the public schools only builds
bigger bureaucracies, not smarter kids. See any large city public school
system for blinding proof on that one.
think that teaching our children to read an increasing literacy rates
should be a national priority?
ANSWER: Alright, at this point you're just frigging with my rigging,
right? Isn't this the same question as asking if I think eating babies
should be made a crime?
Oh, I forget. Making something a "national priority" means using the
coercive power the state to do something that isn't a proper
government's job. In that case, no. Any pair of idiots who breed and yet
fail to teach their children how to read deserve kids who on Father's
Day and Mother's Day can only give them the middle finger to express
support President Bush's initiative to allow private religious and
charitable groups to help those in need through faith-based initiatives?
ANSWER: No. The President's plan is not to merely "allow" private
religious and charitable groups to help those in need; they already have
that right. Rather, it is a plan that would use the coercive power of
the state to compel citizens via their tax dollars to fund private
religious and charitable groups to carry out the government's
redistribution of wealth scheme. Somehow I think putting Jerry Falwell
and Pat Robinson in the welfare business would only encourage them.
Redistributing wealth is already wrong; the Bush plan would make it
take the next step in welfare reform though faith-based programs?
ANSWER: No. The proper "next step" in welfare reform would be outright
abolition, including all corporate welfare, and a commensurate reduction
in taxes. The Bush plan is shrewd—it seeks to unite the left's love for
redistribution of wealth with the right's affection for religion. The
Bush plan should be opposed on both levels.
think US troops should have to serve under United Nations' commanders?
ANSWER: No. Not even if they get nice blue berets to go with the army's
think that the US should modernize our national defense to meet the
challenges of the 21st century—such as building a ballistic missile
ANSWER: Yes. And I think the US should expand the US airlift and sealift
capabilities to allow it to protect American interests in any part of
the world without reliance on regimes of dubious legitimacy (such as
Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, to name two.)
support the President's plan to increase military spending to meet our
ANSWER: Yes. And then some. And then some more. (But I'd get the US out
of Europe. I'm not a complete pushover.)
support the election of Republican candidates across the country and
rebuilding our majorities over the next ten years.
ANSWER: Right, the question that gives Objectivists the shakes come
every election. I'll commit to this: I'll support a Republican as
president and I'll support Republicans in the House, but given
Republican's mixed record in actually defending things I value, I will
shed no tears if the Democrats control the Senate. Frankly, in a world
of confused political premises, gridlock works best for me.
join the Republican National Committee by making a donation today?
ANSWER: Sure. When the first Objectivist runs for congress and the party
supports him. Until then, to quote the old Smith's song, "You just
haven't earned it yet baby."
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